7 Ways to Motivate Your Child to do the Doman Method® Oxygenation Program
by Natasha Lunkina
Natasha Lunkina is the Director of Respiration at Doman International. Natasha has taught parents from dozens of countries around the world and from every continent how to help their children with the Doman Method Oxygentation Programs.
The Doman Method Oxygenation programs, and especially the Breathing Enhancement Program (BEP) are extremely important for every special needs child. With these programs we help kids learn to breathe deeper, with better pace, and more regularly - in other words, we improve the quality of breathing, - thus it brings more oxygen to the brain. This is vital, as oxygen is an absolutely necessary element for brain function.
Many children do the BEP program without any problem and quite enjoy it. However, not every child will instantaneously take pleasure in this program. Even for an older child or teenager, it might seem a strange and new experience. If they have tactile hypersensitivity on the face and head, young children might get defensive when we start with this program.
How can parents motivate children to do the BEP program?
For every child, an individual approach is important - after all, all children have their own individual character and personality. Also, motivation tools should be age-appropriate - what works well with primary school children will not help kids 2-3 years old. However, there are methods that are almost universal for motivating kids:
#1 Tactile Integration for Hypersensitive children:
If a child is hypersensitive to touch on his face, mouth, head, please make sure you cover these areas when doing your Tactile Integration Program. If necessary, you may consider doing an oral integration program as well. These programs will help reduce sensitivity and the child will be able to tolerate the mask on his face better.
#2 Be a role model:
All kids like role models and the example of their parents is very important. When we at Doman International teach the BEP program to a family in our office, we first suggest that first parents try to do a little BEP session - mom would put a mask on dad and vice versa. Older children feel more comfortable when they see that they are not alone in this, and parents also try new procedures to support them. And small kids get very curious and excited when they notice this new thing on their dad's or mom's face that moves funny when they breathe, and the kids immediately want to try it too!
#3 Explain it to your child:
Talk to your child and explain why the breathing program is helpful for his brain and why it is so important to do it. This is especially important for teenagers - so they will know they are a part of the process, feel your respect and that they are treated as adults. For younger children, explaining things are also important, because they love to ask questions and want to know everything about the world and about themselves! Glenn Doman always emphasized how much kids love to learn. And although many of our children have limited speech abilities, this does not mean that they are less inquisitive. Find age-appropriate colorful encyclopedias about the human body that will help the child learn about the respiratory system. Give basic information about oxygen and carbon dioxide, blood flow to various organs, and anything else you learned at your appointment with Doman International. It will be very helpful to make a homemade book and cards with words about the respiratory system, the brain, and the benefits of the BEP, illustrate the book with the photos of you wearing BEP’s - children love books about them and their loved ones so much!
#4 Make it into a game:
Doing the program with babies and toddlers is often quite challenging, it is difficult for them to do something they do not like or are not interested in. The program will be much more successful if we turn it into a game. Very young children love animals, so you can turn on your imagination and think together what animal you look like when you have a mask on - do you look like a pelican, a platypus, or maybe a hammerhead fish? You can pretend you are a flamingo or a duck and try to walk like them! Here, our cognitive program can help us again - we can use Doman Cards with different animals and sea creatures to get more information. Older children (5 years and more) are interested in different professions and trades - so you can play and pretend you are astronauts and need a mask to go into outer space. You can be a submarine crew, fire marshals, and even aliens! Use your imagination and creativity, and always give your child the opportunity to suggest ideas and create their own games. Thus we will be able to complete the daily goals of the BEP program and enjoy your time together.
#5 Delegate what you can to your child:
For older children and teenagers, it is important to feel independent, so you can delegate some parts of the BEP session to your child - for example, let the child put on and/or take off the mask himself or start the timer or wipe the mask with cotton cloth after the session, etc. Then gradually you delegate him more and more and as a goal, let your child do the whole process independently under your supervision. Here the recommendations of our cognitive team on problem-solving can be very helpful - you can break the process into smaller steps (take a mask and a timer, set the timer, put the mask on, press the timer button, etc), create a plan (write a checklist), post it and help your child learn this new skill step by step. Your child will become more independent, feel significant, and have higher self-esteem.
#6 Use Checklists:
Checklists are as effective for a respiratory program as they are for a physical program. Post your BEP checklist and check off every completed session or put a sticker. Kids need predictability of their routine and structured daily schedule. Checklists are a great tool for this. However some parents have doubts that their child will understand the idea of the checklist. Well, he may not grasp it immediately, but most children get the idea quickly and some would remind their parents if mom or dad forget to put a sticker (a star, smiley face etc.) on the checklist. During the day try to orient your child about the number of sessions they have already done, how many are still left. And don’t forget to tell them how proud you are of such a cooperative and hard-working child.
#7 Don't forget the power of rewards:
Glenn Doman said that “success creates motivation”. Rewards give us positive emotions and help us feel more successful. This in turn motivates us. In my experience, the main need of our children is companionship and communication with their parents and loved ones. Alway reward your child with praise, hugs, kisses after each BEP session. After a successful series of BEP’s, take 5-10 minutes to do something together not related to the program, just for fun - browse through a book or a magazine together, dance, sing a song, look out the window, or just sit next to each other enjoying the company! Sometimes you can do a "jackpot" (see Karen Pryor's book "Don't shoot the dog" - a very good book on motivation, I highly recommend it) - if the child successfully has been completing the program for a rather long period time, do something fun spontaneously in the middle of your day - for example, take a break and have a picnic in a nearby park, go to some interesting place where you rarely go, to the lake, for a walk at the beach, or just to the mall, or you may just stop everything and cook something special together etc. Be sure to tell your child that you are doing this because he was working very hard and diligently completed all the goals in the program. Important! - such events should be rare and well deserved. And of course, our everyday rewards like having a nice snack or a new book, a cartoon are also good and effective.
How do you motivate your child? What works best for you and helps your child successfully complete the BEP goals? We would love if you could share your ideas and tips with us and other families!