You And Your Spouse Need A Date

There is a piece of advice the reverend who married my wife and I, gave to me in 1981.

He said EVERY month, without FAIL, my wife and I were to go out and have a date with one another.

As a twenty year old, this seemed like a no-brainer. Of course we were going to go out as much as possible. We thought we would do this many times a month. Only once? Easy.

That was before the kids arrived. With a baby, it was tough to arrange. With two kids, really tough. Four kids? Good luck. We did our best. But sometimes we lost track of how long it had been since we had gone out alone together. Two months? Three? More?

Perhaps ten years into having children, we were getting better. We managed to get out every month. As the years have gone by, we get out more and more. Now we never fail to go out once a week. It’s great.

If I had to do it again, I would make sure we averaged going out once a month, and never less, especially when we had kids.

Having a date once a month (or even better, weekly) allows you to reconnect with your spouse. It allows for better communication, discussing issues that the both of you are facing, and discussing how to make things go smoother in the future. It allows the two of you to enjoy each other’s company, get away from daily distractions, and remember why you married each other in the first place.

Now our kids are older and they have moved out of the house. When we had young children, often we spoke about our kids when we were out on dates, and wondered what we would discuss once they were out of the house. Now, they’re out of the house — and we still discuss our kids.